I've been sick  ...so this is kind of
a late (and long) reaction to the Details
spread people have been buzzing about...
As a person of color at Carleton College in Northfield, MN, I think of race constantly.
I think of race in class everyday whenever I
look around and realize that I am the only Asian (sometimes even the
only person of color) in the classroom and automatically assigned the
burden of representing or speaking for an entire minority group. I think of race
whenever I see pictures from my freshman year, when I had bleached tips and
spiked hair and remember an encounter with some classmate who tried to
compliment me by saying I look like a character from the cartoon DragonBallZ. I think of race whenever I see one of the many
self-proclaimed “liberals” at my school employ air quote gestures with their
pointer and middle fingers while they talk about race, reiterate that it’s
just a social construct, speak of the term as though it is a
force that no longer exists or is just imagined, and act all cocky because they
think they “get it.” I think of
race whenever someone tells me that I’m like, omg, like their cooolest Asian
friend ever and I have to force a smile but I’m really laughing inside because
in most cases…1.) I am the only Asian person they know...and 2.) I am really not
and/or don’t want to be their friend. I think of race whenever I hear techno music and recall the
time when I went to a rave in Minneapolis and the whole night everyone kept
asking me if I sell ecstasy and the only reasons I could think of are that they
either assumed I was part of some drug-dealing Asian mafia, disguised in
orange cargo pants and a tight, baby-blue Powerpuff Girls tee OR they assumed
that I must be the designated drug dealer since I was the only person of color at
that dimly-lit, abandoned warehouse. I think
of race whenever my friends and I are seated by the waitress once again at the
unofficial colored section in the back of the Applebee’s by the restroom and the
kitchen—the same section where posters of black icons just
happened to be mounted. I think of race whenever I pass the bar in town where my Japanese friend Ralph and my Hmong friend Josh got harassed
and repeatedly called faggots by a group of men who also tried to beat them up
while the bartenders just stood there and did
nothing.
I think of race whenever someone refers to me as an FCO
(fashion-conscious oriental) and wonder if they would get
offended if I called them a GFO (goat-fucking occidental) or something more
witty but just as offensive.
* *
*
I don’t think Details
magazine thinks about race as much as I do though. In fact, I don’t think they
think about race much at all. If they
thought about race, maybe the pages of their magazines wouldn’t be dominated by
so many Caucasian faces.
If they thought about race, maybe
they would have realized that for Asian males, the issue of emasculation is a
very sensitive and touchy one. If
they thought about race, maybe they would have recognized how their spread
presents their subject as the exotic, perpetual foreigner, “the
other”—stereotypes which continue to plague the Asian community.
If they really and I mean REALLY
thought about race, and are as liberal as they are credited to be, then maybe
they would have realized how silly it was to run a two-page ACLU add with the
statement “I am not an American who believes RACE, gender, or
class should ever affect a person’s rights” just pages away from the “Gay or
Asian” spread. Talk about ironic and hypocritical! I wasn’t born yesterday so I don’t expect Details, GQ or any
mainstream magazine to constantly think about race. It will never happen. Their
editorial staffs are predominantly white. Their white privilege allows them the
luxury of only having to think about race only when they want to. However, I
still think that they NEED to be conscious about the power they have to
disseminate misinformation that can damage communities and recognize that even
for humor, a line must be drawn somewhere. I was really offended by this spread and if you felt the same way then
please...sign...
http://www.petitiononline.com/details4/petition.html If you weren’t offended, that’s fine. Everyone is entitled to
their own opinion but please don’t try to invalidate my feelings. I think I’ve
been through enough shitt to have the right to be bitter...and then some.
* *
* Now I leave ya’ll with
my fave spoken word piece by the 2tongues ~ ~ Peace out!
RACE AND I'M
RUNNING
-I Was Born With Two Tongues
it's
a race and i'm runnin...
it's a race and i'm runnin...
it's a
race and i'm runnin for dear life.
not that there should be a reason
for heavy breathin
or beatin my fist to my chest tryin to tread that
extra mile
yeah, it's a race and i'm runnin
but somewhere
along the lines i lost you
among the clueless browns
the
clueless blacks
the clueless yellows
and what's
worse
the just kickin its
the just bought into
its
the quote unquoteless in betweens
all laughing on the
sidelines.
you know you were there just a minute
ago...
smilin, struttin, and splendid in full stride
and we
thought we'd finish together
or at least we thought we'd understand if
we didn't
and no this isn't a jones poem
and no this
isn't a jazz poem
and no this isn't another poem about post-teenage
angst
it's just another poem about race
and why i'm
still runnin
in a land that doesn't want me
from a people i
never knew
and a culture i inherited by my namesake and
skin...
always poppin is pop-culture like pimples on my filipino
face
if it's a race...
if it's a race...
if
it's a race and i'm still runnin
where is that goddamn finish
line?i'm sick of the cramps, the
crap
the ignorant wise cracks... the 'go back to where you came from!'
's
the 'so long have you been here in our country?' as if i ever left... 'you know i love that spicy dish...what's the name
of it..uh uh?'
<--insert
psuedo-bastardized-aglicized-dehumanized-commercialized version of you food
here...--> 'yeah, that's it. i love that shit!'
'and by the
way, what's the deal with that F/PH shit?
Philippines spelled with a
PH, Filipino with an F
or sometimes a P, and when all o yous pronounce
F it sounds like a P?' sometimes i break
stride and say... 'it's like this:
if i were to say FUCK YOU,
i can
spell it with an F, pronounce it FUCK YOU.
or with a PH, enunciate it
PHHHUCK YOU.
or as my mom would say it if she were runnin next to
me,
puck yeu, hasshole.' and every once in a while, in a blazing white glory that is
this ejumicational school and scam system i hear, 'i believe in a color-blind
society'
or
'you know i only believe in one race, the human
race..hug me'
if it's a
race...
if it's a race...
if it's really one
race...
then i refuse to be the pigeon in the hole of this
america
the saturated, discarded oily remains skimmed off the melting
pot of america
the trigger-happy jap capturing amerikana with a
camera
the dental-floss blinded driver through the heartlands of
america
the pocket protected techgeek resting on the bleeding breast of
america
the tireless launderer cleaning the shit stains from your stank
area
the 5' 2" little, punk gangsta of the urban playas
the dragoness,
phoenix vixen luring callus cocks and genitalia
the almond shaped
fixture in the mind's eye of america...
of america
of
america
| 
! )and I'd like to find something in that area. Hit me up if you can help, ya? Pleaaase 
I'm desperate!
. I miss ya'll. A lot. 